How to keep a journal for personal reflection and growth. A lesson from the Stoics.

It when I was chatting with a friend that I realised that it’d been two years since I started journaling. It was actually October 2018 that I started to keep track of what was going on in my life, and if I’m completely honest, it’s the longest that I’ve stuck to anything.

She asked me how I do it, what I write about, and the impact that it’d had. I had written before about how I came to journaling and why it was important, but I realised that something that I had failed to explain was how it works for me.

These journals are about remaining in the present, looking at the situations that I see with daily and finding a way to see them as positive or a learning experience. To challenge me not to be bogged down by negative or mediocre encounters that could become a rabbit hole of pessimistic, obstructive thoughts.

Here’s how:

Beware the curse of the long term plan

This is an important thing to cover first — This is not a life planning exercise. I am always exceptionally dubious about these journals that you can buy on Amazon and other internet retailers that openly encourage you to think about your five, ten and lifetime goals. WHY?! Not everything needs to filter into a grand life plan, plus, the path is winding so nothing is so set in stone that I ever feel the need to think ‘where do I see myself by the time I’m forty?’ and set that plan in stone, I only have one answer anyway— content.

The one-line wonder

Step one: I run my journal in six-month blocks. At the start of every six-month stint, I write down things I’d like to achieve in that time. I want to finish a book. Remember to exercise three times a week. Maybe swear less… Keep that internal impostor at bay (mine’s called Barbara, and she has a full backstory). They are all high-level one-line goals, some lofty, and others more direct, but they’re all achievable. There’s no ‘punishment’ or shame if I don’t keep to these goals, but it’s good to write them out and set myself up for where I want to be, and remind myself that I am 100 per cent capable of achieving any of these things.

Step two: Day-to-day learnings and wins. Again, in one sentence, and it must be honest, positive, or an opportunity to express learning and growth. This was by far one of the hardest parts when I started the journal, and surely not everything can be summarized into a one-line learning experience? It can, and I do. The journal covers every part of my life, personal and professional and some entries include:

I didn’t overthink two social situations today. I finished reading another book bringing the total to two this month. I laughed at myself for a seriously awkward interaction at the dentist that I’ll remember for the rest of my life (it involved a Netflix show about fetishes, my dentist and those sticks that they put in your mouth to numb you before fillings — that could be a blog on its own). I identified gatekeeping behaviours in my organization and took steps to shut that down. I had my first conference talk accepted. I delivered the conference talk to over 100 people. I had the courage to ask for help because I felt I couldn’t deal with my grief alone.

Reflections like this help me realise I’m capable, and when it’s a day of success or challenge, to realise how much I can take away from a situation. It’s not an experience that’s free of emotion, but it fills the reflection with pragmatism and honesty.

Everything matters

Melodramatic? Not really. ANYTHING that has felt like a challenge - emotionally, physically, mentally- or has felt like a success to you deserves an honest reflection. I realised pretty quickly how keeping a journal like this has altered my thought patterns.

It helped realign my thought process, made me realise that the world was not out to get me, and I was in control of how I view and respond to situations that are within my control, and those outside of it, but most importantly, how I view myself.

A tool to understand you

This is ultimately the end goal. It’s to have a deeper understanding of who you are, what you are capable of, and how you are growing as a person in ways you don’t always see through promotions, pay rises or extrinsic reward. A journal is a guide and a history book that shows you the person that you are based on those experiences that you’ve written about. Giving you a chance to reflect with pride on what you have achieved and how you’ve grown.

I encourage anyone to try it, keep a battered notebook with you and allow yourself to see how it can work, and see the changes it can make when you invest in the process, examine yourself and hide nothing.